Grasshopper learns from her own rant about life outside the loop

About 6 years ago my husband and I moved north from the big city of Houston to the suburbs. We moved out here for several reasons... 1) affordable houses and 2) proximity to work. Neither of us works more than 4 miles from our house. By car or by bike, it's a pleasant commute most of the time. It's green and usually cooler than the city. We have almost half an acre to play with the dog, the cats, the opossums, the butterflies, etc. On top of that, we can actually afford to make house payments and have lives without going deeply into debt. We are teachers--this is quite a feat.

Of course, there are also reasons why we can't stand it up here--the conservative politics, the bible thumping, the lack of decent grown-up places to hang out and chill, and the consumerist/shopaholic mentality that seems to prevail. So as comfy as it all is we think often of moving somewhere else.

During the school year, teaching keeps me pretty busy. But in the summer when I peek out from under the fog and life gets a little more social, I sometimes get emails from former work colleagues and/or old friends in Houston asking me if/when I ever come into town, or telling me that we should get together next time I'm in town. This generally drives me crazy and I think I have figured out why.

On the surface the "whenever you're in town" question appears to me as a sign that the person asking is making an assumption based on a presumption wrapped in a fear of the unknown. That is, they've rarely traveled outside that "Loop" which circumscribes their happy world and they are completely ignorant of what life is like on the other side of it. I think they can only imagine how horrid it is swimming around in the goop of all those negative things I mentioned above. [There's some sort of analogy here to the rio grande i'm sure but i'm not quite ready to put my energy into making that work.]

More significantly, the question means that the person asking me really doesn't know me anymore. Be it my fault, his/hers, or both, we have lost touch enough that this person has no idea how often I am actually in Houston doing the same things I did in Houston when I lived there, having dinner, watching movies, watching plays, listening to music, etc.

With this being the case I'm inclined to recommend to someone I've lost touch with that we make plans to get together and try to catch up. So if/when they come back to me with another pronouncement of ignorance like--okay let me know when you guys are coming to town and we'll do something--I get mad, hurt, confused,-#*&$?*#!!! Because really, they have to realize that making plans in Houston is not a big ordeal that requires a prearranged day-trip with a schedule. My brain instantly goes into rant mode like I need to explain to them that I don't live that far away and that I am in Houston all the time and it's not ever going to happen that we get together if you are expecting that I just call you next time I'm in town! Don't they know this!?

And so most unfortunate of all is realizing as I am composing this rant in my head that they probably do know this. I really don't need to explain myself. What people do when they want to see each other is make plans to see each other--no matter how close or far they live. It's not always easy but it's often worth it. So now I'm down to what'll it be? I can take the brush off. Or we can make plans.

Adults on trikes

Twice today, while I was out running errands in my car, I saw middle aged women on adult tricyles going about the running of their own errands. They carried grocery bags and/or other stuff in their convenient tricycle baskets. It was an unusual sight here in suburbia where most people are still driving Escalades, Excursions, Tahoes, etc.... (you name the gas guzzling behemoth). And to spot two on the same day! It felt downright awkward. I wondered how I had missed the info about this new trend. Was there something in the local newspaper? Did I not get invited to the trike exposé at the local country club? I was intrigued.
Well it seems like this is an up and coming new trend for the baby-boomers. Everything I could find on google related to the comfort and ease baby boomers and others with special balance and comfort concerns can find in the adult tricycle. Here's a link to a Washington Post article about the eco-trend in Arlington County: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/17/AR2009041703205.html. And here's a link to Bicycle Riding for Boomers: http://www.bicycle-riding-for-boomers.com/. Happy Riding!

Papallacta, Cotopaxi, Mitad del Mundo

Papallacta was magical, 10,000 feet in the Andes with picturesque hot springs and a cushy spa to pamper yourself. We ate some incredible food, soaked ourselves until we were pruned, watched hummingbirds, saw the peak of Antisana from the hot springs, and slept like babies in a nice quiet cabana. It was a really nice break from the hectic world of Quito, and only short ways away. We will go back again, for a longer stay in the future.
The next day was a rugged trip to Cotopaxi volcano. The drive to the park entrance didn´t seem far, but the road up was pretty tough for the tiny rental car we had. We made it all the way up to the parking lot for the refuge though... about 14,000 feet. We tried to hike up to the refuge where there were climbers preparing for their ascent to the top--it seemed many tourists were doing this so we tried too. I got a bit messed from the altitude though, so we came back down. Too bad. But a remarkable experience just the same. The highest on earth either me or Dave has ever been. Chugchucaras for dinner. I think I´ve gained 5 pounds from eating locro de papas, other fatty and salty regional dishes, and way too many schwarmas from the guy around the corner from our apartment.
Car was returned yesterday after a trip to Mitad del Mundo which was slightly disappointing. We had a hard time getting past the amusement park atmosphere. It clashed badly with the beauty of the surroundings.
So... do I get Ecuador any better today that I did in my last post? Maybe a little. The class structure is a little hard to take. But there is a strong indigenous movement right now and the new president seems to be working hard to make the masses feel like they are included in policy. There are road signs and TV commercials about how the country is the people and the democratic revolution is happening. Propaganda? Not sure how things are different now than how they were before Correo. But I do know there are things happening for better or for worse. In the mean time, in the eyes of most Ecuadorians I am just a tall white woman looking to buy something.

Looking up from the middle

The first four days in Quito, Ecuador have been interesting. On the positive side everyone is fabulously polite. On an angle to that it´s an overwhelming experience of realizing that you have only the very basics in the way of connections to the people you meet and see. These are good existential moments where you start thinking about your own limitations and what makes you tick. It´s tough though... and particularly for my husband and I who travel often and take a bit of pride in our ability to get around in unfamiliar circumstances. I´ve been working on wrapping my head on how the world looks from the eyes of an Ecuadorian woman or man... both literally --since most people I encounter are a good 6 inches shorter than me-- and figuratively.
Tomorrow we pick up a rental car and head out to Papallacta hot springs. I can hardly wait. It will be refreshing to get out of the loud, polluted and... did I say loud and polluted... overpopulated city that Quito is.

a new little manifesto

Facebook can be oppressive. Especially if you are "friends" with people out of "politesse" rather than feelings of nostalgia and/or true friendship. I regularly unfriend people who unknowingly offend me. And I hope that others whom I unknowingly offend return the favor. But there are those who are oblivious. And sometimes these are the people you work with.

I recently learned from real life human friends that it's not uncommon to have a "no co-workers" policy for facebook. This is a fantastic discovery and it probably should have been a no-brainer to me. But the world of a teacher can be very isolated. So I believed that stepping on board as a facebook friend might actually help me get to know some people better. However, it hasn't really worked out. Or perhaps I should say that it has worked out and I am surprised by what I've found out.

Numerous cases have come up in recent years about the place of free speech on facebook. The way I see it one must must be as careful as one would be in any publicly printed material with his/her speech on facebook. So in order to have free speech on facebook, you really have to circumscribe your audience. It was easy for me to decide not to become "friends" with my students. However, I was originally uncertain of what being "friends" with my colleagues at school would mean. I was hesitant but optimistic in imagining that we are all adults and that I would not normally be posting or commenting on anything that would conflict directly with school policies. I wanted to believe that the local community hegemonies would somehow be absent or less prevalent.

Now, I am changing my mind. In a world where the Texas SBOE is trying to modify textbooks in horrifying ways and where bullying and intolerance are becoming the norm among adults, I think I'm going to redraw my facebook parameters. I need to control my readership because I need to not have to control my content.

So, if you are a co-worker of mine, I am likely to be unfriending you. This would not be because you have offended me already or because I realize I may offend you. But more because, unless we have truly developed a friendship that would exist outside our school culture, I don't want to know about your hateful and racist ideas or even ultimately your compassion and love for all living creatures. Let's connect as living, breathing humans first. And if we can't do this in the workplace in a way that evolves beyond professional courtesy and politesse, then we should not be friends. Really.

Lessons from getting dogged?

A kid at my school was working really hard to get Dog the bounty hunter to come to our school. He contacted agents and publicists, emailed teachers and staff, and made an announcement to the entire student body about his project. He made an extraordinary effort and suffered some mocking from other students who were wondering, why Dog? He stuck with it though. He developed a petition that many signed for no reason at all other than to support his efforts. Really many were still asking him and themselves, why Dog? He submitted the petition and Dog turned it down saying that they wouldn't be in Houston. Then this young man discovered that Dog was going to be in Houston for a book signing. He was re-energized. He and a few other students allegedly went to the book signing and made a personal request. Dog put him off. Dog gave him his personal phone number to stay in touch to follow up. Then Dog and his wife proceded to humiliate this poor kid by hanging up on him, yelling at him for calling at the wrong time, and finally not answering the phone during the times he was told to call.

Now this kid isn't a student of mine. I just know him. I was one of the few who refused to sign his petition because I think Dog and his posse are low-life racists. The students asked me why I wouldn't sign and I told him what I thought of Dog at the time. And I also told the student that I still had a lot of respect for the effort and persistence with which he was working on this project. I may not have agreed with his choice of role models, but I do think what the kid did was pretty gutsy.

Anyway, the student tells me yesterday that he supposes I was right about Dog and he's really upset about what happened. He mentioned his new thoughts now on trying to tarnish Dog's public image for how he treats his fans. I didn't think this was a good idea either. And I'm not the only teacher who expressed to him that focusing on the negative act of getting revenge and trying to hurt someone is toxic.

I thought the kid did an awesome and ballsy thing. I told him that. I tried to help him understand that things are not all good or all bad. That what he did was really cool even though it didn't work out. I also said that even though Dog was unprofessional and hurtful toward him, this doesn't mean that the other things he admired about Dog weren't still to be admired. Nobody is all good or all bad. I was trying---even though I believe that Dog does what he does for his own ego and for money--not really to help anyone. Anyway, this unfortunate student was hurt and embarrased. I don't know what lesson he'll learn from this. But I hope it's something he can make productive and positive. And I actually do hope, he'll start to see into people a little bit better--especially unprofessional egomaniacs like Dog the bounty hunter.

Teenage girls get pregnant

Teenage girls get pregnant. Especially in Texas. Every year I have one that finds herself "with child" and more often than not she drops out of school and I can only imagine the hardships of her life from that moment forward. Not long ago I had a discussion with my junior class about staying in school if you get pregnant. Our principal apparently encourages them to leave so that they don't set a bad example for the other girls. But I told my students that when I was in high school I felt exactly the opposite. If I saw a pregnant teenager I thought she was exactly who I didn't want to be. However it might affect other people, I told my class, the only thought you should have is what would be best for you and for the future of your child. Getting an education should be a top priority.

Well in that junior class of mine there is a girl who I just learned is pregnant. Since she's due in July, I believe she was probably already pregnant when we had this group conversation. I can't remember. But I've been thinking of that. I do remember that she didn't participate much. And I've been trying to remember if that was the same day that she had her head on her desk quietly and inexplicably crying. There was a day like that. But I can't remember.

So two things.

One, every teacher has to be mindful that what they are saying is being heard. You get to feeling like you are being ignored most of the time, especially regarding the little stuff like "we are on page X" or "this is due on Y date." The thing is, when you start talking about something the kids find meaningful (not classwork) then they will start to listen. And you have to be aware. I didn't say anything that day that I wouldn't say again. Although there might have been some sensitivity missing in my tone or the way I worded things. I might have changed things slightly if I had known. Which brings me to...

Two, I am thrilled to know that this young woman is staying in school. I don't know where she will be next year. But I do know that she is going to finish her coursework for her junior year and that will be a bigger help to her than creating even more chaos by moving to a new "special" school, losing credits, etc. She's an academically talented, creative, and bright girl. I've known her for 3 years, since she was 14 and her boyfriend too. They hooked up last year and sat together in my class. I am regretful that this happened to them. And I haven't talked to the girl about her pregnancy so I don't know what her plans are for baby and boyfriend and life. I don't know how her family is taking it. But I'm already proud of her for resisting the pressure of authority to derail her from her path. And with that in mind, I will give her all the support I can and encourage her to make the best of it all, to keep her own head above water, and her eyes on making a good future for herself and baby.